It has been six weeks into my internship. Working with
patients suffering from cancer has been draining, difficult, but surprisingly
fulfilling. So far, I have found it a constant amazement at how humble and appreciative
patients and family members alike can be, in the face of such an overwhelming disease.
I was handed a case-file for a Mrs Tan. She was suffering from the last stages of lung cancer. Moreover, she was also suffering from kidney failure. The doctors posited that she only had weeks to live, and had called in the Medical Social Work department to see to the emotional well-being of the patient, as well as the family.
I was handed a case-file for a Mrs Tan. She was suffering from the last stages of lung cancer. Moreover, she was also suffering from kidney failure. The doctors posited that she only had weeks to live, and had called in the Medical Social Work department to see to the emotional well-being of the patient, as well as the family.
Mrs Tan’s family was hard to get a hold of - neither responding
to phone-calls, nor visiting Mrs Tan at regular hours. I resorted to routinely
visiting her ward during lunch times.
I finally managed to meet Derrick, Mrs Tan’s son, in the
ward. We decided to speak outside the ward, in view of the patients. I
introduced myself as a Medical Social Work intern, and that I was here to find out what ways I could be of assistance to his family. I found Derrick to
be a filial son, who was also fully apprised of his mother’s situation. He was
sorrowful, but had accepted the inevitability of his mother’s condition.
At one point, he mentioned that he had trouble managing the
costs of his mother’s medical expenses – especially the hospital stay coupled
with her kidney dialysis. I felt it prudent to advise him that he was ineligible for financial
aid due to his high income. He turned his head and laughed softly to himself.
However, when he turned back, his voice was raised as he asked, “THEN WHAT HELP
CAN YOU GIVE ME?!”
What could I have done wrong?
Considering the solemn subject of your post, is it appropriate for me to laugh when I read the final paragraph? Yeah, I think it was the picture that did it.
ReplyDeleteA possible answer to your question may be that you were probably stating the obvious. I'm sure Derrick would have already known that he was ineligible for the financial aid hence his trouble in managing the cost of his mother's hospital bills. Furthermore, despite his high income, he probably has many other commitments that are financially binding too.
Hence, perhaps you could have asked him about his other financial commitments to find out exactly why he has trouble managing his mother's hospital bills despite having a high income. In addition, instead of giving advice, which I am sure you did out of concern and with outmost sincerity, the better approach would have been asking more questions til Derrick somehow came to the conclusion that he should reorganize his finances and re-prioritize.
The point is to guide him so that he will reach that conclusion on his own. Perhaps then he wouldn't have been so defensive. Moreover, I guess you were not exactly being helpful by telling him what he could not do. The better approach would have been suggesting things he could do, if there were any.
Hope that helps, Nan!
It was not your fault Nan. This was a however cruel fact that he must know in order to plan forward.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, not only does this kind of scenario can be seen in the medical world, but also in the academia right? How many applicants have to turn down their university admission offers because of financial constraint?
This has nothing to do with you Nan. It has to do with the structure and logistics of the society. This is also what world leaders are fighting for, isn't?- to lower education and medical costs - because a great deal of unfairness can be seen here. Those that are supposedly have access to all these did not get them because of the unfairness that exists.
Really, how many lives have been lost because of this unfairness and also how many talents are lost? This is also something that we are working hard for, aren't we? - to make everything accessible to everyone.
It was a really brave, wise move to tell him this cruel fact. So that he would not spend anymore time debating about the hospital financial aid (as many would spend many days to argue that they deserve the aid), and hence would immediately consider other possible solutions and ways of raising money.
I personally think that sometimes, assisting others doesn't necessarily mean to relieve them or to make them feel better. Telling them truth that will prompt them to think and act is to no extent a bad assistance!
You have done a good job, Nan!
Clearly the son was torn between being a filial son and providing hi mum with the best care (he could or could barely afford) and meeting all the other financial demands at other fronts in his life- which are also important. So your comment might have just touched a raw nerve at the wrong time. You didn't see it coming - fret not- it's not your fault. But the thing to learn here would be that practical things like concerns about the money are very real in everyone's life- including those who may seems like they are in the high income bracket. So if you're not the Business Office or the finance guy, it's best to avoid commenting on such issues. In this instance, if you had kept silent, he might have gone on to say more about it just to get it off his chest. But take heart- you're doing a great job already!!
ReplyDelete